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Parents

Abiding Love
FamilyLifeParentsPoetry

Abiding Love

How Do I Love Thee

“How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach when feeling out of sight
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!-and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

Today I write about abiding love – the love of a parent for their child, no matter the calamity, no matter their age – the love for a spouse that has gone cranky because of life’s challenges and is almost impossible to live with – the love that keeps the cookie jar full of homemade low sugar molasses and oatmeal cranberry cookies, and rubs cream on swollen testicles. Abiding love is the foundation of a meaningful life.  It can be relied on.
 
At my mother’s 70th birthday celebration, almost 20 years ago, my Dad appeared at the entry to the living room resting an old leather bound volume open on his left hand. The room was crowded with friends and loved ones who sat spellbound as he asked our permission to have the floor.

He cast his eyes first to his beloved then down to the page and began reading in a deep, husky voice, each word delivered with the gravity of a wedding vow. It was as if they were alone. 
 
Dad’s dedication was also demonstrated to his family as he mowed the lawn, seeded the garden, washed the windows, built a driftwood teeter totter,  or fixed the broken toilet.  He showed it as he stood with his toothy grin barbecuing salmon for the throngs that would gather, sometimes spontaneously, to enjoy the spirit of the family home.
 
Our Dad was a wholehearted guy in everything he undertook, and he was not an idle man. Besides being a dedicated to his family, he was also a keen writer, poet and philosopher, and his wife was his Queen. He knew how lucky he was she said yes those many years ago when he wooed her with poetry, roses, and those Paul Newman eyes of his.

This is the love that Creation intended. It gives life to life, and offers peace by asking nothing. It’s generous. Love shared and showered upon those we care for, provides the anchor for our dear ones to grow. In this space it’s possible to cast aside a frantic world where speed and perfectionism block true connection, and the romantic love of earlier years is emboldened, becoming deep affection.

 
It takes small but continuous effort to nourish the gift of a loving relationship, and it doesn’t have to be expensive or grandiose.  Carefully chosen words encourage, a smile sends light into darkness, and a small gesture of kindness provides much needed solace.

Freely given and received, love is the ultimate expression of grace, and abiding love is the glue that provides meaning and longevity. It`s perfectly imperfect.

About 10 years after this event I was inspired to write a poem for my Dad in recollection of that evening, as well as other times I witnessed his passion spontaneously ignite a room. An old boyfriend once told me he remembers an evening, while enjoying a meal together with the family, when Dad leapt out of his chair and burst out into verse. Yes, Dad’s passion made memories.
 
Although Dad and I are quite different people, we share a love of writing, especially poetry, and when “Passion” fell out onto the page it made me realize Dad and I were perhaps more alike than I thought. What I am sure of is our family understands what it means to live with abiding love.

Passion

Tonight he quoted
Shakespeare on the
phone with me
during an everyday
conversation,
just thrown in
as if normal
that an 80 year old
would remember
wise words
relevant 400 years
later.
 
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
read aloud at
the celebration of his
beloved’s birthday.
In awe and breathless
at this public declaration
of pure love
we weep openly
and strengthen silently
 
I am renewed and
grateful for the depth
of love that birthed me
supports me
encourages me
and steadfastly stands
behind me.
It is all about love
truly,
at the bottom. 



Be well, friends. I hope abiding love is somewhere in your lives, with your partner, a parent or sibling, or a dear friend.

Please scroll to the bottom if you would like to comment.

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Bursting with Joie de Vivre
FamilyParentsSpiritual

Bursting with Joie de Vivre

Have you felt what it’s like to be bursting with joie de vivre, unable to contain your enthusiasm or the intoxicating tsunami of happiness that explodes from your being?  It’s likely most of us can remember a time or two, but perhaps it was fleeting.  If you’re lucky, you live with joy in your heart, at least most of the time. But if you are a stranger to it, dig deep and find something to be joyful about.

“Joy is the highest expression of love  –  Esther Hicks”

I started out with more joie de vivre than was likely good for me, and it landed me in some hot spots over the years.  My brother, just 13 months older, was also a happy child but reflected it in a completely different way.  He sat as a smiling Buddha, content because all his needs were met.  In fact as the family  legend goes it’s why he didn’t walk until he was 16 months old. How is it possible to be that satisfied, I ask you?

My sister, who came along almost 4 years after me, was born with definite ideas of what she liked and didn’t, for instance eating. She could store a pea or two in her cheek convincingly enough for Mom to think she actually ate something. Her superpower is the inner brightness she radiates and shares selflessly with her family and friends. She has drive and determination and continues to express herself uniquely in the world.

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MEET SHEA

MEET SHEA

Author
If I was going to describe myself in one word, I would say creative. I love to write poetry and stories, garden, bead, draw, and study spiritual philosophy. If I keep these in my life, my inner artist and the seeker in me just hum. Only my kids and grandkids fill my heart more, and for that, there are really no words.

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Aphrodite offered up 3 ripe figs today, and along Aphrodite offered up 3 ripe figs today, and along with a sweet peach, I made a spectacular dessert topped with some creamy Gorgonzola. #figs #peaches #gorgonzola. I do love a cheesy and fruity treat.
Barely recognizable, this bumble bee is wearing a Barely recognizable, this bumble bee is wearing a coat of pollen. #bumblebee #roseofsharon #pollen #feedthebees #pollinators
A swath of gloriousness greeted me this morning as A swath of gloriousness greeted me this morning as I headed for the patch to collect some nourishment for breakfast.  Life is good, but I will miss the back forty.  Soon, figs. #roseofsharon #blueberries #patiogardening #summerbounty is worth the wait.
A very happy birthday Sammy! Your second as a mam A very happy birthday Sammy!  Your second as a mama.  Well done.  Xo @sdobo
For dinner….thank you @yasminkhanstories . Every For dinner….thank you @yasminkhanstories . Everyone needs her book Ripe Figs, especially if you love eastern Mediterranean cooking as much as I do. And maybe some grilled figs and goat cheese for dessert?  Perfect. Also thanks to my friend @sandysuto for recommending the dish. #prawns #saganaki #figs #goatcheese
A fine week included great friends, delicious home A fine week included great friends, delicious home made meals, swimming, hilarious bridge games, and a smidge of port on the beach watching the full Buck moon illuminate the seal snuffling and snorting in water. Feeling fortunate and more in love with nature than ever.  #buckmoon #friends #bridge #swimming #songbirds #dreaming #simpleisbest
Sunset over paradise. Tonight the full moon, beach Sunset over paradise. Tonight the full moon, beaching again later.  Let’s see what comes up I can say goodbye to. #fullmoon #chill and #release . @karenmerkas @vernainsta #peace
Life is no longer innocent. One might say even va Life is no longer innocent.  One might say even valuable.  6 more souls lost in Illinois today in an insane act of domestic terrorism.  Biden needs to declare a state of emergency, and in honor of this tragedy, fireworks need to be cancelled tonight everywhere. Instead gather for change. Let’s have silence and remember.  Collective action makes a difference. #presidentbiden #kamalaharris #cnn #dosomething #nancypelosi #msnbc
Handing in my shovel after the garlic harvest. A Handing in my shovel after the garlic harvest.  A trowel is all I need when I move at the end of summer. It’s been a grand 17 years at The Dial.  Sea Park Estates here I come. That said I have excellent shovel skills if anyone needs help. #moving #gardener #freedom #newdigs #newadventures #bestlife
Best line of the day. Elderly woman, confused and Best line of the day. Elderly woman, confused and perhaps a little hard of hearing, is in emerge being checked in.  The nurse asked her, quite loudly, if she has any allergies.  At alto voce she replied “yes, treadmills”. Then she went into a protracted explanation as to what it does to her.  Egad, sweetheart, will be there one day myself, but am going to copy that little gem! #er #sweethearts #stories #bitesoflife #allergictoexercise
Cleared the table and did the dishes after Bubbie’s birthday party, unprompted, their parents must be very proud. #granddaughters #helpers #appreciated #solucky
My favourite new cook book just there on the shelf My favourite new cook book just there on the shelf with others specially selected. I do love #pcc . @yasminkhanstories #realfood
Thank you, I’ll take one of everything! #pcc #ve Thank you, I’ll take one of everything! #pcc #veg #fresh #eatyourveggies
Today I was grocery shopping and the store was bus Today I was grocery shopping and the store was busy. I stood facing the shelves, my back to a nice family, when the force of a greeting roared past my ears.  It seemed to be for me, so I turned to meet the smiling eyes of an 8 or 9 yr old girl desperately wanting me to notice her pink roller skates.  Of course I immediately and enthusiastically appreciated how wonderful her skates were.  This unleashed a long explanation of how hard it is to push a buggy with roller skates on, to which I replied “that is great exercise!” She wholeheartedly agreed, and our brief and delightful exchange concluded satisfactorily. Receiving a beaming smile from this lovely girl notched up my vibrations considerably. #grateful for our #kids #thankful
My first rhubarb haul. ThankYs Ding @dobodonna for My first rhubarb haul. ThankYs Ding @dobodonna for the roots. Can’t wait to stew it up.  Maybe a #strawberry and #rhubarb crostata?  Better get some ice cream. #summerbounty
Why not be delighted. “Everything is always work Why not be delighted. “Everything is always working out for me”. Life in the flow is much happier when not trying to control outcomes. #intheflow #hakunamatata #dowhatyoucan then #letgo
What happens when a 7 year old gets a sewing kit a What happens when a 7 year old gets a sewing kit and a bag of fabric pieces for her birthday. Designed by Viv, hand sewn by Jamma and Viv. 4 fittings and 5 hours later she had a new dress for her party. My own creative spirit was singing. #sewing #granddaughter #creativity #nopattern #solucky
The red maple is doing her thing. What a glorious The red maple is doing her thing.  What a glorious day out with ma. #redmaple #spring #deepbreath
Omg. Can’t move now! I told the installer my D Omg.  Can’t move now!  I told the installer my Dad would approve of his workmanship. Thank you @doors_galore_bc .  Don’t try to do this yourself people. And Galway through my elderly neighbour stopped as one of her tires was low.  He filled and balanced them all with a smile on his face and went back to work #newdoors #doorsgalore .  Now to sell.
Parting is such sweet sorrow, but Brodie went to a Parting is such sweet sorrow, but Brodie went to a lovely family in Richmond. Over all, parting with stuff for the move is much easier than I thought it would be. #makespace #declutter #passalong . My future will be much clearer.

ps Great townhouse for sale here!
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