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Parents

Abiding Love
FamilyLifeParentsPoetry

Abiding Love

How Do I Love Thee

“How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach when feeling out of sight
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!-and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

Today I write about abiding love – the love of a parent for their child, no matter the calamity, no matter their age – the love for a spouse that has gone cranky because of life’s challenges and is almost impossible to live with – the love that keeps the cookie jar full of homemade low sugar molasses and oatmeal cranberry cookies, and rubs cream on swollen testicles. Abiding love is the foundation of a meaningful life.  It can be relied on.
 
At my mother’s 70th birthday celebration, almost 20 years ago, my Dad appeared at the entry to the living room resting an old leather bound volume open on his left hand. The room was crowded with friends and loved ones who sat spellbound as he asked our permission to have the floor.

He cast his eyes first to his beloved then down to the page and began reading in a deep, husky voice, each word delivered with the gravity of a wedding vow. It was as if they were alone. 
 
Dad’s dedication was also demonstrated to his family as he mowed the lawn, seeded the garden, washed the windows, built a driftwood teeter totter,  or fixed the broken toilet.  He showed it as he stood with his toothy grin barbecuing salmon for the throngs that would gather, sometimes spontaneously, to enjoy the spirit of the family home.
 
Our Dad was a wholehearted guy in everything he undertook, and he was not an idle man. Besides being a dedicated to his family, he was also a keen writer, poet and philosopher, and his wife was his Queen. He knew how lucky he was she said yes those many years ago when he wooed her with poetry, roses, and those Paul Newman eyes of his.

This is the love that Creation intended. It gives life to life, and offers peace by asking nothing. It’s generous. Love shared and showered upon those we care for, provides the anchor for our dear ones to grow. In this space it’s possible to cast aside a frantic world where speed and perfectionism block true connection, and the romantic love of earlier years is emboldened, becoming deep affection.

 
It takes small but continuous effort to nourish the gift of a loving relationship, and it doesn’t have to be expensive or grandiose.  Carefully chosen words encourage, a smile sends light into darkness, and a small gesture of kindness provides much needed solace.

Freely given and received, love is the ultimate expression of grace, and abiding love is the glue that provides meaning and longevity. It`s perfectly imperfect.

About 10 years after this event I was inspired to write a poem for my Dad in recollection of that evening, as well as other times I witnessed his passion spontaneously ignite a room. An old boyfriend once told me he remembers an evening, while enjoying a meal together with the family, when Dad leapt out of his chair and burst out into verse. Yes, Dad’s passion made memories.
 
Although Dad and I are quite different people, we share a love of writing, especially poetry, and when “Passion” fell out onto the page it made me realize Dad and I were perhaps more alike than I thought. What I am sure of is our family understands what it means to live with abiding love.

Passion

Tonight he quoted
Shakespeare on the
phone with me
during an everyday
conversation,
just thrown in
as if normal
that an 80 year old
would remember
wise words
relevant 400 years
later.
 
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
read aloud at
the celebration of his
beloved’s birthday.
In awe and breathless
at this public declaration
of pure love
we weep openly
and strengthen silently
 
I am renewed and
grateful for the depth
of love that birthed me
supports me
encourages me
and steadfastly stands
behind me.
It is all about love
truly,
at the bottom. 



Be well, friends. I hope abiding love is somewhere in your lives, with your partner, a parent or sibling, or a dear friend.

Please scroll to the bottom if you would like to comment.

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Bursting with Joie de Vivre
FamilyParentsSpiritual

Bursting with Joie de Vivre

Have you felt what it’s like to be bursting with joie de vivre, unable to contain your enthusiasm or the intoxicating tsunami of happiness that explodes from your being?  It’s likely most of us can remember a time or two, but perhaps it was fleeting.  If you’re lucky, you live with joy in your heart, at least most of the time. But if you are a stranger to it, dig deep and find something to be joyful about.

“Joy is the highest expression of love  –  Esther Hicks”

I started out with more joie de vivre than was likely good for me, and it landed me in some hot spots over the years.  My brother, just 13 months older, was also a happy child but reflected it in a completely different way.  He sat as a smiling Buddha, content because all his needs were met.  In fact as the family  legend goes it’s why he didn’t walk until he was 16 months old. How is it possible to be that satisfied, I ask you?

My sister, who came along almost 4 years after me, was born with definite ideas of what she liked and didn’t, for instance eating. She could store a pea or two in her cheek convincingly enough for Mom to think she actually ate something. Her superpower is the inner brightness she radiates and shares selflessly with her family and friends. She has drive and determination and continues to express herself uniquely in the world.

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MEET SHEA

MEET SHEA

Author
If I was going to describe myself in one word, I would say creative. I love to write poetry and stories, garden, bead, draw, and study spiritual philosophy. If I keep these in my life, my inner artist and the seeker in me just hum. Only my kids and grandkids fill my heart more, and for that, there are really no words.

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My new garden is underway thanks to @malekith86 (m My new garden is underway thanks to @malekith86 (max) and @azaria.khan.  Built in jig time with such good nature. #solucky #raisedbeds Now to start some seeds. My favourite time of the year.
“If I don’t move, maybe she won’t see me, es “If I don’t move, maybe she won’t see me, especially with all the stuff that blew in the other day.  I’ll just hang out and wait for the garden to come in”. #peterrabbit #vegetablegarden #yummy
Original art by @byheatheredelmeier is now gracing Original art by @byheatheredelmeier is now gracing my home. Her style and technique are uniquely hers. Found the perfect spot for it. #originalart #awesome
I’ve let so much go recently I grew some callous I’ve let so much go recently I grew some callouses. The big challenge is I also threw out some gray matter and my sense of humour. It’s a problem and not the kind of headspace I was looking for.. #graymatter #letitgo #humor #callouses #rest #headspace @laurenlaing22
Taking care of the “rest” part of my 2023 well Taking care of the “rest” part of my 2023 wellness plan today. May need a couple more.#rest #dayoff #wellness #keshond #seajl #laurenlaing22 #malekeith
Not a typo! Standby. I love to experiment with s Not a typo!  Standby.  I love to experiment with something new. #incredibleseedscompany #culantro #patiogarden #culinaryadventures
A taste of spring for our queen. She stared at th A taste of spring for our queen.  She stared at the daffodils, taking in every detail, as if she was to begin a painting.  A moment of silence made the experience even more beautiful. #mom #daffodils #spring #bringiton #beauty #love
I knew my rock collection would come in handy. Lot I knew my rock collection would come in handy. Lots of zooms these days. #zoom #rockcollection #soulsatisfying . Happy Friday 13th friends.
Brisk and entertaining walk at Blackie Spit today. Brisk and entertaining walk at Blackie Spit today. Enjoying my new backyard. A group of intrepid grannies told us they swim everyday all year long. We enjoyed their colourful language as they took the plunge.  Then the spit was crowded with shore birds just waiting for an audience, and did not disappoint. Very chubby, sandpipers? Hot soup followed. #sandpipers #intrepid
Each piece thoughtfully selected. And the card ins Each piece thoughtfully selected. And the card inscribed with beautiful cursive writing and a loving message.  Thank you for thinking of me Vivian Laing.  Only 7 my dear old soul. @laurenlaing22 @seajl Thank you my darling.
ahh Christmas. Happy holidays everyone. @vernain ahh Christmas.  Happy holidays everyone.  @vernainsta
@celestefrenette oh my, I was affected by your wor @celestefrenette oh my, I was affected by your words in the same way John O’Donahue does, with breathtaking passages and simple words and stories that  held me in a loving embrace.  In She is Strong, pages 138 & 139, you described my 2022 journey in words I couldn’t find to explain what happened to me by the end of the year, on new territory with not much to hold on to. It gave me such clarity, and hope. Thank you for the abiding love it took to share your feelings.  I shall read it over and over.  You are so gentle.
History! Iconic evidence of Max’s first steps i History!  Iconic evidence of Max’s first steps in the kitchen. Fun times. #starwars #wookiecookies #culinary
You’re born my sweet boy! And are just as amazin You’re born my sweet boy! And are just as amazing as that first day, when you had the cutest boochie ever.  Love you.  #birthdays
Baby it’s cold out there….take care everyone. Baby it’s cold out there….take care everyone. 🥶 #ice #autumnleaves #freshair
Merry early Christmas to me! Thanks @celestefrene Merry early Christmas to me!  Thanks @celestefrenette for your beautiful words.#aseasonofspaciousness #healingwords #inspire
I’ve learned success in life is facing challenge I’ve learned success in life is facing challenges then taking right action.  It takes courage and commitment. There must always be time to take care of ourselves. #youfirst #success #action #courage #comittment #selfcare #dontlookback
Fun lunch with ma. Butternut squash soup with pom Fun lunch with ma.  Butternut squash soup with pomegranate, parsley, and side snacky of Swedish rye crisp avocado, sliced tomato and creamy goat cheese.  Sharing with our diamond, brilliant. #family #mom #butternutsquashsoup #solucky
The Yin and Yang of life. Today my long awaited r The Yin and Yang of life.  Today my long awaited replacement couch arrived just as the strata president phoned and asked if there was any water leaking in the living room.  Yup. Might as well take it like a champ.  Apparently upstairs is renovating. #condoliving #ohwell #takeawalk
In meditation today I received this message "life In meditation today I received this message "life is yours to make or break, so go make it." #meditation #lifehappens #choosewisely #befree #nowronganswers in the creative process. Putting myself completely in charge of my #choices
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