If I am lined up, body, mind and spirit, my life works, I’m happy, unresisting, and open. I walk a relatively wobble-free path, one foot in front of the other, my arms hanging lightly at my sides, feet forward, face forward, looking for opportunities. In this frame of mind lies resilience, solutions, and best of all, fun. That’s where the love is.
After sketching a few straight lines it became apparent I was drawing a person teetering, one foot balancing precariously on the edge, the other not even on the ground. Was I was terrified to fall and hanging on for dear life? And my heart has no connection to the rest of my body, with arms reaching out in opposite directions, grasping for a hold. And what about the old cranium? My head is turned looking backwards in a desperate search for salvation.
I was completely out of alignment, but how did that happen? In this case it’s likely to have been several events, over a period of time, that last straw just poised for action. Yup, straight down into the rabbit hole, a bulldozer pulling into the driveway. Sometimes there’s a shock, so while there may be less lead up confusion and misery, the pain is dire.
This diagram told me to sit in my favourite recliner for a while and figure out what needed to be done. So I did that and asked myself some big questions, trying not to be overwhelmed. It took considerable time, days even, but I didn’t rush through it. Obviously there was not just one thing yelling for my attention.
Here is what came to mind:
- What part of my day to day living was not working? I did an honest review, and wrote it out. For me writing releases that which is waiting to be known.
- What are my essential values and am I honouring them? Maybe I have never even considered what my deal breakers are, or was I just coping, in toleration and miserable?
- How is my health? Am I taking care of myself? Which one bad habit could I stop first? I knew which one, but also that it would be hard. Denial has not been my friend.
- How are my relationships with family and friends? In everyday living am I putting my own needs first? This has to be. My loved ones will be glad I did, and maybe waiting for it.
- If I am not sure where I’m going, what gives me joy? I thought about that and felt it. This alone can can help change directions.
- Am I authentic and true to myself? If I’m honest, not fully. Denial still gets the best of me in some areas. But I’ll do better. Ultimately I will do my best. Brené Brown was a game changer for me.
- Am I courageous enough to face what is not lined up and make changes? I answer YES, but I know I will have to dig deep, start somewhere, maybe the place I least want to look. And there will have to be cheesies.
Meanwhile, my heart stands by waiting to help, for me to see what I need right now. The heart is a powerful ally because it knows only love and truth. I know enough now to reconnect and listen, simmer down, and be open to receive.
Recently in meditation, during a particularly difficult spell, I was given this advice, “Shea you are on your path, but wobbling on the edge. and sometimes you fall off completely.” It was delivered with humour, hence the diagram. Always need to remember not to take life too seriously. I remembered this as I started to write.
The message was reassuring enough to make me feel better, clear enough for me to see I was out of whack again, and I laughed out loud.
There is much written these days about being mindful, in alignment and authentic. Each one of these powerful concepts is important and deserve thoughtful reflection and integration. Nobody can tell us how to go about it as we each have such different needs and desires. But if things aren’t working, go about it we must.
If I feel a nagging in my gut that something isn’t right, I am able now to stop the teetering by taking time to check in with myself and consider what is going on.
I’ve come to finish each day with a question to myself “Am I satisfied with my day?” If yes, wonderful! If no, then it’s an opening to consider why not, and a worthwhile pause.
Is everything lined up for you? It might be time to stop and take a look. You can do it.
Please scroll to the bottom of the post and leave a comment. I would love to hear how you keep yourself lined up.